Ungulating From Side To Side

 

Hello, you lucky people, it's Tarquin Sweetbiscuits here, the improbably-named one of occasional guest spots on the wonderful Friday Night Flip-Floppin' Faux fame, and I'm here to talk to you about hooves. They're rather wonderful things, and have enabled a solid nine years of joy for me with my main Master Ulix and his merry parade of porcine power. I took a bit of a break from Malifaux towards the end of 2nd edition but came straight back into Ulix when I saw that Wyrd had implemented the grow mechanics that I'd been begging to be given to him in 3rd edition.

The joy of taking a 3ss sniper-bait Piglet and using two AP to replace it with a multi-tonne mass of fear-inspiring War Pig is something to behold. It's even better when you take three Squealers and get lucky with your Turn 1 hand/flips and end up with three of them, all advancing/focusing before even activating if you're hitting that Tome trigger for Some Pig on Grow Up Strong. I've heard sounds from Beard and Bad Fish that bring me joy on cold winter nights as they watch 27ss emerge from 15ss, and suddenly their unpacking plans get that little bit more tense. Three AP at a Mv7 stat thanks to Penelope's delightful aura will get them really far into an enemy line and keep a few models occupied for a while, but they can definitely melt under an opposing beater's attentions.

I had some solid games with the pigs, the better ones were (funnily enough) when I had a plan from the outset of who the War Pigs were going to be torpedoing into. Taking out a Hex Bow during turn 1 is definitely a thing that I can recommend doing! But as my opponents gained experience into my pig-growing ways, they were dealing with the big threats before they could do enough damage to justify the effort in getting them there, and sniping out the replacement Piglets that were about to be grown into the second wave of bacon, effectively blunting my brawling core and leaving my scheme runners vulnerable to being picked off with ease. The perils of maining a single keyword, I guess; your opponents will have a that much better idea of what is coming into them and how to prep for it.

I was having issues with the unpack; many 50mm bases makes for a tight fit on some of the Vassal maps out there, and I seem to have no knack for picking a good deployment zone even when I do get to choose! The newly-unveiled Swine Twirlers will definitely help with that with their "Right This Way!" ability, but having to hire yet another support model on top of your Whisperers and Haulers eats into your pool in an uncomfortable way.

I was having issues with engagement zones; a 0" engagement range is not a fun place to be, and was high up in the ways that I was being handled. Giving the keyword something like Diving Charge would go some way to fixing this issue, and creates a wonderfully cinematic scene in my mind of looping arcs of uncontrollable may-ham. But as it stands, I was losing too much of my AP efficiency by being shuffled into the magical 1.5" zone away from my targets.

And I was having issues with the self-damaging. I know it's been a key feature of the entire Bayou faction since day zero, and again lends a perfect cinematic charm to playing them, but it was increasingly feeling like I had to self-damage just to catch up to what other factions were getting as standard. Which leads me to...

Nephilim. The OTHER hooved beasties. I think Bad Fish suggested I take a look at them in response to me voicing the above concerns, and he may well have nailed it. I've only had two games out with Nekima so far, one with Broodmother and one with Superstabbychargegogogo, but both felt like an easier brainload to cope with than games with Ulix. Flight is everywhere in the keyword, and solves pretty much the entire unpacking issue. Engagement zones - there is 2" reach for days so often the best your opponent can do is reposition you out of the Black Blood splash zone. And self-damaging - yes, it's still present in Nephilim, but it feels like a much better reward when you get a repeatable 1" pulse of Blood damage instead of a likely one-off base-to-base contact Stampede, and you don't feel like you have to do it to get the most out of your crew like Reckless.

Oh, and Corrupted Hounds might be the best 3ss models in the game.

I'll be taking part in the 10 games in a row challenge with Nephilim, and I've given myself the additional sub-challenge of using every model in the keyword at least once during those games. Barbaros will be the main challenge there, seeing as he refuses to work with our new lord and saviour Nekima, but maybe I can con plead with Bad Fish for a Henchmen Hardcore game 😅

See you on the Other Side.